Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I have seen the light





The following statement I copied straight from the Voice for Animals website:

"Animals are not commodities to be bought and sold. Stores who participate in this, and breeders who supply them will one day, in an enlightened future, be seen for who they are... slave traders."




Dear Voice for Animals,

I am writing to tell you that I have finally seen the light.

It seems you were right all along. The buying, selling and keeping of animals is nothing but slavery, they should not be owned but should be free to live their own lives, make their own decisions, go where and when they please.

As of today, I intend to turn over a new leaf. Liberation, not slavery is to be the order of the day.

This morning when I got up, I went outside and opened the gate. I told all my animals that they are now liberated. They can do as they please. They all quickly ran out through the gate and I closed it behind them.

Slavery is dead.

Yes, slavery is as outdated as sending small boys up sooty chimneys.

No more will I have to carry heavy bales of hay and straw in the morning before I go to work, in the dark, and at night when I get home, again in the dark, when the temperature is below freezing and the wind is howling, so that my animals can be comfortable and well fed.

No more will I have to defrost the drinker, when the temperature is -25C, so that my animals can get a drink.

No more will I have to shovel excrement into a wheelbarrow then push that heavy wheelbarrow across rough ground before tipping it, then going back to do it again, so that my animals can be clean.

No more will I have to mend the fence, in the dark, with frozen fingers and with the flashlight between my teeth, when the temperature is below freezing and there is a gale blowing, so that my animals can be safe.

No more will I have to drive to the auction mart to buy the aforementioned hay and straw, load said hay and straw onto a trailer, drive it home and unload it, so that my animals can be comfortable through the cold Canadian winter.

No more will I have to drive to the store that closes before I officially finish work, so I have to leave early, to buy oats, minerals, salt, dog, cat, rabbit and chicken food, so that my animals can not only be fed but well nourished.

No more will I have to drive to the aforementioned store, having left work early, to buy wood and nails to mend the aforementioned fence.

No more will I have to stop the car at the end of the drive to open the gate, in the dark, drive through, stop the car again, and close the gate behind me so my animals cannot wander on to the road where they might cause an accident or be injured.

No more will I have to stop the car at the other end of the aforementioned drive, get out, open another gate, drive through, get out again, and close the gate behind me so that the animals cannot get at the aforementioned hay and straw and spoil it, which they surely would do.

No more will I have to get up in the middle of the night to let out dogs that forgot to pee when I let them out before I went to bed.

No more will I have to get up in the middle of the night during calving and lambing season to check that the cows and ewes haven't dropped their babies in the snow and wandered off and forgotten about them, as some of them are prone to do.

No more will I have to take the aforementioned babies into my house and wrap them in warm blankets after the aforementioned mothers have dropped them in the snow and wandered off and left them, as I have had to do in the past.

No more will I have to walk for miles so that my dogs can have some exercise.

No more will I risk getting scratched, bitten, kicked, trampled, or knocked over because the aforementioned animals don't realize how big and strong they are and how weak and feeble I am.

No more will I have to go to work to earn the money to pay for all the aforementioned items.

And as I am not going to work, I will sit around and watch TV, or play cards or talk to people via instant messaging.

I will probably be sued when someone hits a cow that is laying in the road in the middle of the night, and writes off their car.

I will worry about them, knowing that they are having to scrape away the snow to find a few blades of last years grass, that they have no shelter when the temperature drops to below freezing and the wind is howling, and that they are at constant risk from disease carrying oand predatory critters, farmers guns, and rusty old machinery that litters the Alberta prairies, but my conscience will be clear, because they are free.

Within a few months I will get depressed and maybe suicidal, because there will be nothing to live for.

I will have to see a psychiatrist and take medication and become a burden on society.

But that's all right, because even when I feel like shit I will know that I have done the right thing in letting my animals go free.

Oh wait a minute, what's that noise I hear? It sounds like mooing, bleating, humming, clucking barking, neighing and braying.

My animals are all standing by the gate waiting to be let back in. I wonder why that is? I know you won't believe this, but they think having a human slave is preferable to having to fend for themselves.

Oh well, back to the grindstone.

Slavery is alive and well and living in Alberta.

Yours,
One of the unenlightened ones

1 comment:

Tracy said...

I think I love you.

Ok, ok...I only love your blog.